Fant4stic (2015) - Written Review
Fant4stic is a terrible, terrible movie with as many redeeming features as there are actual colours in the film. That is to say, few and far between, and so dim when they do show up that you really have to be searching to find them. Fant4stic now seems to have reached the point of circulation, now added to Netflix with a TV network premiere probably imminent. Don't watch it. Just don't. There is so little to enjoy here that you'll just want to switch it off anyway. And even if you do, for whatever reason, still want to give it a go to see how bad it can be... Batman and Robin is hilariously bad. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is overlong, overstuffed and frankly a bit boring. X-Men: The Last Stand is dull, humourless and utterly forgettable. Fant4stic is the latter, but so much worse. Remember how bad the editing was in Suicide Squad? Remember the lack of characterisation? Remember how bloody dark that film was? Well, put it this way: Fant4stic includes a scene so dark the characters look like (unintentionally metaphorical) silhouettes - characters, I might add, who have barely spent a minute together in a scene, who haven't actually had a proper conversation with one another before, and this is the moment at which the film decides should instigate the plot.
But you know what? I'd be better off pointing out the positives in this film as opposed to the negatives, there are so few and far between that regardless of whether I filled the entire review with them, you'd probably still think this was an awful film. Michael B Jordan is actually very charismatic in the role of Johnny Storm, with some small (probably improvised) comic moments that actually, for a split-second, make you think you were watching a better film. He actually gives the only particularly watchable performance in the film. Miles Teller is...okay, I guess. He's definitely trying here but when he tries to be all heroic, it just seems really phoned-in. Reg E Cathey is surprisingly good as Franklin Storm, and actually manages to bring a certain gravitas to the proceedings.
The original score is actually quite good, although there isn't an especially memorable main theme, and the visual effects work looks pretty good for a TV budget...just not a $100+ million major motion picture. Some of the narrative beats seem quite good, and maybe could have worked in a Spielberg-esque Fantastic Four film, but not here. Um...there's some occasionally nice cinematography, although the whole film has a rather ugly dark, slightly blueish filter over it that zaps the vibrancy from the image more than in a Christopher Nolan/Zack Snyder/David Ayer DC movie.
Positives...positives...I think I've actually run out. I have. I'm out of positives. All I can think of are problems with this movie. It's 100 minutes long and still feels boring at many points. The characterisation is do poor that the Fantastic Four themselves don't show up on-screen together until the last 10-15 minutes of the film. The plot is so non-existent that Doctor Doom only shows up with about twenty minutes to spare until the end of the movie. The third act fight is so poor that the Human Torch is just smashing rocks in the background of frames. Even the bloody costumes are awful! How does this movie happen?!
I'll be honest, I'm not a fan of the Fantastic Four. Sure, I remember watching (and liking) Fantastic 4 and Rise of the Silver Surfer in the noughties, but this...this is frankly just poor. It's a poor rendition of the characters, and its a poor film in its own right. And they thought they were actually going to make a sequel for this year. 2/10
Comments
Post a Comment